Home | Contact | Sitemap



Hot Topic:

Vote for us

Spurian FreePress
"Volume 2, Issue 3" ...

Editor's Note: The Spurian Free Press has gone through many changes in the past few months. But now the dust has settled and we are rebuilding from the ground up. The paper has two co-editors - Maren Vonalte and Lii Dvo, as well as old and new writers. The SFP is about you, the readers, and for you. Whether to inform or to make you laugh, we promise to do it all. And if you want, we'll even hang Lii up in the square and let you smack him around a few times.

Table of Contents
Your News Quickly
Emjedah Tournament
The Wyverns In Spur
Power and Passion: The Turbulent Saians
Interview With Regent Noffbrau Part 1
Interview With Regent Noffbrau Part 2
Heard Around Town
The Punctuality of Spurian Officials and Merchants
An Odarian Is
Ask Danilova


Your News Quickly
by Miss Sapphire

I cannot always be lurking in the shadows at every waking moment, so if you have a bit of news or have an announcement you wish to be printed, send it to SFPSapphire@hotmail.com.

The Human Council have recently opened up their long in coming food shop at the Traveler's Rest on Trade Way. You can purchase anything from different types of salads to desserts, and even a luncheon basket filled with goodies. However, the merchant guild's policies on shops have changed and the Human Council are now giving up this shop, though there is still plenty of delicious food left.

In the mid-afternoon of 1-1-319, the bells of the city clock tower rang out loudly eight times with a strange hushed silence coming across the city as the bells rang. According to a mounted city guard, the tolling of the bells were in honor of the seven deities of the heavens and the one who fell in the streets of Spur. As to whom the eighth tolling of the bells were for, I cannot for certain say. A few moments after the bells, the sky above the city suddenly turned a thick black color as a massive circling pack of birds formed above the city. Suddenly, the carrion birds began to dive down and attack anything they saw on the streets.

The dragon Bodhi also staged black on the same day. His new bondmate Julia the Secian is proud and will soon be collecting all things black in honor of Bodhi.

Recently, Tir the Go-blin-al led Silkyn the Arachnian into a trap. The Arachnian thought they were going to deal in business when in reality, Tir brought Silkyn to become food for a wyvern. Tir was rewarded with armor for a job well done.

More Wyverns have been spotted about town. Each with a different mind and different personalities. Few have tried to kill them, few have tried to save them, though most tend to mind their own business.

After the votes were counted in the Saian temple, Noffbrau Trenkill was named their Regent. While many Saians are horrified at this turn of events, Noffbrau has brushed their concerns aside. As one of his duties as Regent, he had Silkyn the Arachnian fighter convert from Taath to Sa.

A mounted city guard mistook the Human Tara for a street harlot, telling her, "I have no coin to pay you for your services, but thank you for the offer" He later realized his mistake, or probably didn't care either way, and asked her on a date at the Rose, doing what Tara loved to do best - drink and drink. The guard even flashed Tara a "large rainbow diamond" from his pants in broad daylight. No word on whether Tara took the guard up on his offer.

Emjedah Tournament
by Miss Sapphire

The Crusader's Crown was held in the city of Emjedah on November 7. Four teams - Sa, Set, Taath, and Unknown - faced up against each other in double elimination combat.

The roster for each team was:

  • Sa - Noffbrau the Hithual, Juster the San Elf, Gossamer the Drag-al, and Balzar the Drag-al
  • Set - Montis the Monitanian, Aeyon the Arachnian, Fang the Arachnian, and Rytul the San Elf
  • Taath - Tbor the Monitanian, Tragick the Arachnian, Jurax the Penthanian, and Maren the Usil Elf
  • Unknown - Osire the Hithual, Loden the Hithual, Merant the Hithual, and Dace the Monitanian
  • The rules were basic enough - no magick items, no shields, no harmful prayers or prayers that could resurrect the dead, and so on. Each round would have three players against three players and the round would go on until all of one team were dead. While this was going on, Tennant the San Elf was holding a raffle. Winners would win either a custom weapon made out of niello, or one of two magick items. Also, Tir the Go-blin-al was holding bets.

    The first round was Sa versus Set. The odds were that Set would win, mainly because Aeyon and Fang were Arachnians, heart and sword respectively. Noffbrau, Gossamer, and Balzar entered the ring along with Montis, Aeyon, and Fang. In a surprising upset, Montis was taken out first and the Arachnians soon followed. Sa had won.

    The second round was Taath versus Unknown. Most people betted that Unknown would win against Taath. Pretty much only Tragick the Arachnian voted for Taath's team. Tbor, Tragick, and Maren entered along with Osire, Loden, and Merant. Osire earlier had told the crowd that Dace would probably be an hour late. When Tennant called for the match to begin and the dust settled, three Hithual corpses littered the arena floor. Taath had won, causing many people to lose money.

    The third round was Set versus Unknown, each with one loss against them. If either team lost this round, they would be out of the tournament for good. Set decided to go with Montis, Fang, and Rytul while Unknown, still without a Dace in sight, stayed with Osire, Loden, and Merant. In the end, Set won and Unknown was out.

    The fourth round was Sa versus Taath, both at the time had one win under their belts and no losses. Sa stuck with Noffbrau, Gossamer, and Balzar while Taath went with Tbor, Tragick and Jurax. Jurax fell quickly, some say because the Matriarch refused to heal the Penthanian mage (there is no love lost between Arachnians and Penthanians) and Sa defeated Taath.

    The fifth round was Taath versus Set, each with one loss against them. Taath stayed with Tbor, Tragick, and Jurax while Set stayed with Montis, Fang, and Rytul. The battle was fierce but Set defeated Taath.

    The sixth round was Sa versus Set. The pressure was on for Set's team. They had already gone up against Sa's team in the first round and lost badly. Also, Sa had no losses against them while Set had one. Sa went with Noffbrau, Balzar, and Gossamer while Set went with Montis, Fang, and Rytul. Rytul fell early in the round and Montis followed soon after, but not after Set killed Noffbrau. With only an Arachnian against two mages, both flying because of Balzar's flying spells, and their familiars, it was a heated battle. Tennant accidentally called no familiars, though Balzar's air elemental still kept attacking Fang during that short period, though quickly recalled that rule change. Fang was able to kill Balzar and Gossamer forfeited the round.

    ...In the end Set's team had won the Crusader's Crown...
    With both teams having one loss against them, the seventh round began. This round was quick and painless. Set's team took down Balzar and jumped on Gossamer. All that was left was Noffbrau, but he was soon dead.

    Each team received prizes provided by the hosts of the tournament. The winners of the raffle was Juster who won a magick item that revealed those in the shadows, Tragick who won a magick item that healed but she quickly gave it to Tbor, and Vallek the Frontacian who won the custom weapon made out of niello.

    The Wyverns In Spur
    by Ellery Talbot

    As I'm sure most of you readers are already aware, the city of Spur has been plagued with wyvern attacks over the past few weeks, at least. What you might not be aware of is how the situation involving these massive creatures came about. In a recent interview with one of the drakes who has resided near the city for many years, some interesting new information was brought to light.

    The dragon refused to be named, but he is most definitely a credible source of information. Many Spurians are aware that dragons are to be blamed for the wyverns' relocation to the Dark Woods and the western fields of Spur, but until now it has not been clear why. I was sure to take careful notes of my interview, and the story the dragon told me has been reprinted here in full with some minimal editing for readability.

    "The wyverns did come to Spur because of our actions, but it wasn't because of our arrogance that they did like that Leuian insists on telling people. I even told him this story but he's neglected to print it. [The Leuian referred to is Melraath Silentpaw.] Anyway, the whole business with the wyverns started out when the dracos and some secians around Spur and Treehaven started finding these objects, crystalline spherical things that seemed to project emotions. They hated being in the hands of dragons, they liked secians, and they were indifferent towards those of other races. It wasn't exactly clear what they were, though from the beginning I had a feeling they were wyvern eggs from the beginning and told my kyn this but they didn't believe me, especially the secians. Weldoian and Verbaniah thought they were some kind of ancient artefacts to hold back an evil force.

    They didn't listen to me and kept these objects, ignorant of what they really were. A human named Venesil or .... Vesenil, I forget exactly how it's pronounced, made his presence in the city known and said he wanted to speak with us about the objects. He said he had heard of an outbreak of a kind of scarab similar to Moloch's bane scarabs that are psychic parasites. He claimed that he had come from a small village somewhat northwest of Emjedah that had been destroyed by an infestation of these scarabs, and he wanted to see one of the things that we had been finding to confirm his suspicions. When one of the eggs was produced he said that they were indeed a larval form of these scarabs, and that they should be destroyed at all costs. He claimed they needed to be destroyed by fire to be sure they were dead, though later we found out that the reason our efforts at destroying them initially only resulted in the object 'reappearing' somewhere nearby because the human mage was there and replacing them. He said that he was a fire mage and had developed a special method to destroy them, and asked us to gather near Treehaven to complete this task.

    When we gathered, unbeknownst to us the human had lured the wyverns, who were in search of their eggs, to where our gathering was taking place. They saw us destroying their eggs and they saw what appeared to them as us delivering a hatching egg to the human so that he could place a small golden collar around his neck and bind it to himself as a familiar. They were understandably furious and we were "tricked. We did not set out to kill the wyvern or even anger them, we believed we were destroying the eggs of parasitic insects. The human was very charismatic, and even I, who thought they were wyvern eggs in the first place, found myself believing him. He had thought of every detail, saying that the larval form of scarab wanted to be with Secians because they knew the secians would make good hosts, and did not want to be in the possession of a dragon because they were simply unable to use dragons as a host, our minds were unsuitable. I guess why you haven't heard this whole story before is because it is embarrassing to admit that we were tricked by a lowly human fire mage, but this is what happened. We killed the wyvern who came to the area later because they were threatening the city of Treehaven, and it was a problem we created ourselves."

    I had several questions for the dragon after he had completed the story, which follow:

    It is understood that wyverns underwent some change in their minds after something you did to them in the forest, can you explain what exactly happened?

    "I can't explain the specifics, no. We were attempting to kill them with a form of magicks, but they were interfered with by the Muatana-al named Maloveous. He probably wanted more tiers or something. What happened was, not all the wyvern died and the ones that survived no longer shared in the hive mind, they can't remember anything from before this happened because they weren't individuals."

    A number of citizens of Spur, especially go-blin-al it seems, have become sympathetic towards the wyverns. What're your thoughts on that?

    "I don't understand it really. It seems like the Spurians are sympathetic towards them because now they're pathetic. They've always been predators of mortals, eating guards off the walls and such, and are continuing to do so. It's just that now they say they're capable of saying that they're 'confused'. It's incredibly foolish. They're still just smarter-than-average animals, you don't see people being sympathetic to things like wersids just because they're psionic."

    Will dragons be honouring the request to leave the city until all of this is over?

    "I don't speak for all of us but I predict most dragons' answers would be "No." And quite honestly you don't really want us to, they'll just keep eating citizens forever."

    At the end of the interview the dragon insisted he not be named. He said he was hopeful, though, that perhaps with this new information the general populus of Spur would think about what is going to come out before they open their mouth with regards to the business with the wyverns.

    Power and Passion: The Turbulent Saians
    By Scruple Tamarind

    This is the fifth in a series of articles on the religions of Aradath. I hope to present each religion evenhandedly, focusing on the beliefs that define it and on its effects on the lives of its followers. I must state here that I am myself Saian and have done my best at objectivity, though I feel deeply about the subject matter. I invite any readers to rebut this or any of my articles, and hope anyone wishing to speak to me of their religion for future articles will contact me. S.T.

    The Saian faith, like that of Elindale, is deceptively simple on the surface. What could be plainer than the worship of a single thing like nature or magick? It's not a philosophy or even an abstract concept like knowledge, ignorance, balance, or even kindness to your fellow sentients.

    Below the surface, the Saian temple is a labyrinth of opposing beliefs, ambitions, hopes and fears. Like nature, magick is universal, its effect inescapable. You can embrace it, breathing it like air every day as the mages do, but those who are not students of the runes find its effects touching their lives daily. Even those bereft of magick bear the indelible mark of its absence like a battle standard.

    The structure of the Temple of Sa reveals the multifaceted nature of the faith. Three sects comprise the temple: the Orderly, the Entropic, and the Chaotic. An Advocate leads each sect, and a Regent leads all ... or tries to. A buzzword in the Saian temple for years has been "Unity." This is more of a wistful dream than a reality, as the broad and far-reaching nature of magick has ensured that those of almost every race, temperment and philosophy have gathered beneath its banner. It is not always a harmonious family.

    Advocate Kruses of the Entropic sect admits, "Diversity is a double edged sword at times of course ... but our diversity is a blessing." Gossamer the Drag-al mage told me, "I've always seen us as a three headed dog ... as one head does well for itself, the Temple as a whole benefits. But each of the heads is always barking at each other. But Sa help the one that tries to take a bone away from those three heads."

    The greatest strain on the temple unity in recent memory was the destruction of Treehaven by the forces of Emjedah. Saians were on both sides of the battle. The thinly veiled antagonisms between the Emjedah- based Chaotic sect and the Entropic and Orderly sects erupted into a dangerous rift. Some rejoiced in the display of magick that exposed the tree city to its ruin. Some denounced the act as heinous. The Saian temple of Treehaven seceded from the Regency. Though I've been reluctant to include politics in these religion articles, this schism illustrates all too well a central truth of the Saian faith: Sa does not dictate morality to His followers.

    Kyrinne the Secian had been Regent for so long that few Saians thought much about the moral stance of the Temple. Chaotic Advocate Anvil Bloodbaine's elevation to Regent marked the beginning of a painful period of self-examination by many Saians. It suddenly became obvious that the Saians' capacity for destruction and chaos was not an aberration. It was as legitimate a part of the temple's legacy as the long sunny afternoon of Kyrinne's regency had been. It is not an exaggeration to say many Saians were shaken to their cores. Some did not remain in the temple.

    If Sa does not require any particular moral stance of His followers, what does He require? What does Sa expect of us? What does He give in return? The Frontacians I spoke with had a distinctly different relationship with Sa than most of the other races. Kreston told me, "On the Isle it is the One Religion...Frontacians should not follow lesser gods." He continued, "For a Frontacian there is of course great respect toward Sa, who supplies all runes, and therefor the basis of our Power. But...there is an understanding... Frontacians will "follow" Sa, or more accurately enter into a spiritual alliance with him, so long as the arrangement is beneficial to us." Other Frontacians I spoke with echoed this sentiment.

    Sanene Advocate Renalk of the Chaotic sect has been steeped in duty to Sa since before his birth. He spoke of his own home. "These mage orders thus arrange marriages, arrange breeding, with the only goal in mind being to produce Magi in the next generation. Thus was I born. Born to be a Mage, born to follow Sa."

    Gossamer expressed another belief when he said, "Magick is a destination. A thing to be had and hoarded. But for me, and many others, it is more of a journey." For others, simple gratitude for the gift of Sa is enough to enter His service.

    Weldoian told me, "I had been readin' a bit, and I had read about the fact that Secians were magickal. Sa be the God of Magick...Secians are magickal....I'm magickal...so, if I'm not following Sa, it'd almost be like I was denyin' the very thing I be."

    Power is an obvious reward of worshipping Sa. Magick is Power, and the temple has more than its share of those who enjoy power for its own sake. Paradoxically, one does not need to be Saian to take advantage of His gifts, just as one does not need to be Elindalian to receive the bounties of nature. "There you touch on the uniqueness of his gifts," Kruses said. "It does not take divine intervention to utilize the blessings of Sa." Regent Anvil Bloodbaine told me, "Even the mages of Taath and Odarous do homage to our Lord." Their deeds are, he said, "The work of Saians who have yet to see their true master, their true benefactor." Gossamer claims to see a bit of the divine with every spell, no matter who wove the invocation.

    Kreston told me, "Knowledge is power which Sa has in abundance. Magick is Power, of which Sa is the source. Conflict is Power, which the nature of Sa provides. Unity is Power, which Sa demands." Whether Saians come for the power, the conflict, the runes, or a hundred other reasons, they certainly come in large numbers. The temple is in flux, as it always has been and probably always will be, as myriad races and personalities each come and leave their mark and are marked themselves. Despite its 3 heads and dubious success with unity, the Temple has had a lasting impact throughout history and will probably continue to do so. Every age in the Othello Museum's Hall of Ages has been an Age of Sa. It's an impressive track record.

    Anvil says, "It is my belief that only through the worship of Sa that this world will survive and flourish, that all the lands of Aradath, and beyond, shall one day pay homage to Sa. That the empire of Sa will stretch across this continent and beyond and that through the teachings and prosperity of this empire, the lives of all will flourish. One world, one empire, one god."

    I am reminded of a spirited disagreement I had with the Regent some months ago. An oil painting of a thunderstorm above the altar flashed and rumbled in response to our rising voices. The temple shook from the sound. I cowered from what I assumed was a stern warning. When I looked up, Anvil smiling broadly at the painting, graciously accepting its endorsement of his vision.

    I still don't know which of us was right.

    Interview With Regent Noffbrau Part 1
    Reported by Lewelin Mandid

    Noffbrau says, "here we go, this as goos as place as any"

    Lewelin nods.

    Noffbrau asks, "care for a drink?"

    Lewelin asks, "alright, this interview is for the Spurian Free Press, you are aware of that correct?"

    Lewelin says to Noffbrau, "I do like to keep some of my wits about me"

    Lewelin grins to Noffbrau.

    Noffbrau says, "aye, ahm aware"

    Lewelin nods.

    Lewelin says, "I suggest we jump right into it."

    Lewelin says, "ok, Please state your name for our readers"

    Noffbrau says, "My name is Noffbra Trenkill"

    Noffbrau says, "er"

    Noffbrau says, "Noffbrau rather"

    Lewelin grins.

    Lewelin asks, "ok, Noffbrau. Where are you from?"

    Noffbrau says, "not really sure, ahh was left behind somewheres one day, and was picked up by some mages"

    Noffbrau says, "they raised meh from just a little thing"

    Lewelin asks, "some mages? Wow, I bet that was odd"

    Lewelin asks, "What was it like at home? did they treat you differently?"

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "not when you take something in from being so young, it tends to come naturak"

    Noffbrau says, "er natural"

    Noffbrau says, "no"

    Lewelin nods.

    Lewelin says, "ok, moving on"

    Lewelin asks, "Who do you consider your role model?"

    Noffbrau says, "to some, not to all, ahh try to set an example"

    Lewelin blinks.

    Lewelin chuckles.

    Lewelin asks Noffbrau, "no, who was YOUR role model? who did you look up to as a...'youngin'?"

    Noffbrau says, "oh"

    Noffbrau laughs.

    Noffbrau says, "sorry, misunderstood"

    Lewelin says, "that's alright"

    Lewelin smiles.

    Noffbrau says, "well thats a good question"

    Noffbrau says, "I looked up to more then one..."

    Lewelin says, "well that's fine, you can list a few of them as well. I'm just trying to establish the people you based your life upon"

    Noffbrau says, "Juster and Joruus for one, they were the ones who brought meh up"

    Noffbrau says, "and Osire, was a big roll model to" Lewelin nods.

    Lewelin says, "how..well I'll save that for later"

    Lewelin asks, "So why did you become a member of Sa's temple?"

    Noffbrau says, "hence being raise by mages, that should be easy"

    Lewelin grins.

    Lewelin says, "yes, but not everyone can figure it out. I would just like to hear you state it"

    Lewelin grins to Noffbrau.

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "well being raised by mages, was what came natural, seems that is where ahh belonged"

    Lewelin nods.

    Lewelin asks, "So how long have you wanted to become Regent?"

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "its not a matter of wanting to become Regent, it was a mtter of doing the most I could for my temple"

    Lewelin asks, "so you never desired the position before, or dreamed of it?"

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "well ahh did desire it after a vision, 'and there is a few other reasons behind it to"

    Lewelin asks, "care to list those other reasons?"

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "after two elven years with out a Regent, ahh thought it was time someone steped up"

    Lewelin nods.

    Lewelin says, "alright"

    Lewelin asks, "so exactly how did you become Regent?"

    Noffbrau says, "and had young saians new to the spur ask meh why ahh wasnt, kinda gave meh the ambision to do more then what i was doing"

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "ahh was voted Regent by our congregation"

    Lewelin nods.

    Interview With Regent Noffbrau Part 2
    Reported by Lewelin Mandid

    Lewelin asks, "if memory serves me correctly, Anvil was the last regent correct?"

    Noffbrau sighs sadly.

    Noffbrau says, "Sa Bless his soul"

    Noffbrau says, "yes"

    Lewelin asks, "Do you think you can 'fill his shoes' so to speak?"

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "not in a million years"

    Lewelin grins to Noffbrau.

    Lewelin says, "alright, I can see it best us move on"

    Noffbrau says, "Anvil was great"

    Lewelin asks, "how do you feel about leading those you looked up to all of those years? Such as Osire, Juster, and the rest..."

    Noffbrau says, "well ahhd ont lead Osire"

    Noffbrau says, "but the others suported meh"

    Lewelin ponders the meaning of the universe for a moment.

    Lewelin says, "ok.."

    Noffbrau says, "they know my intentions are to nothing but good for the temple"

    Noffbrau's stomach growls.

    Noffbrau says, "they are as loyal to meh, as ahh ahm to them"

    Lewelin nods.

    Noffbrau says, "we are family"

    Lewelin smiles.

    Lewelin asks, "so what have you accomplished since you've become Regent?"

    Noffbrau says, "to be honest, not much of nothing, other then helping Silkyn to be accepted by Sa"

    Noffbrau says, "wich was quite a feet in my eyes"

    Lewelin says, "perhaps you shouldn't speak of that, you might cause you and his death"

    Lewelin smiles.

    Lewelin says, "moving along"

    Lewelin asks, "What are your plans for the future?"

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "I have a few plans.. first and formost is to have a full house of active advocates "

    Lewelin nods.

    Noffbrau says, "ahh wanna have another Magick tourny"

    Lewelin ponders.

    Lewelin nods to Noffbrau.

    Lewelin says, "that sounds fun"

    Noffbrau says, "not a tourny but a festivak"

    Lewelin asks Noffbrau, "anything a little more...lasting?"

    Noffbrau says, "wich will have a tourny in it"

    Noffbrau says, "ye"

    Noffbrau says, "tryin to get a shop put in our temples"

    Lewelin nods.

    Noffbrau says, "also..."

    Noffbrau says, "there is a group of spurians gonna try to improve the poor quarter"

    Lewelin nods.

    Noffbrau says, "I wish to involve my temple in that, for a few reasons"

    Lewelin smiles.

    Lewelin asks Noffbrau, "well, this interview is almost over. Is there anything you would like to say to our readers before we finish this up?"

    Noffbrau ponders the meaning of the universe for a moment.

    Noffbrau says, "yeah"

    Lewelin asks, "and?"

    Lewelin smiles.

    Noffbrau says, "To all those who suported meh, my thanks, and to those who didnt, please have patience, things will work out"

    Lewelin nods to Noffbrau.

    Lewelin says to Noffbrau, "alright. On behalf of the Spurian Free Press good luck and thank you for your time and honesty. "

    Noffbrau says to Lewelin, "your interview hopfully dont get twisted around lak Melraaths"

    Lewelin says, "I'm sure it won't"

    Lewelin smiles.

    Noffbrau nods.

    Editor's Note: Shortly after this interview, Noffbrau was killed by our reporter. It was a tragic scene as Noffbrau was not wearing armor at that time and probably did not heal himself.

    Heard Around Town
    by Miss Sapphire

    This column is just the place to find interesting and funny comments spoken by those who walk through the Spur everyday. If you hear any funny comments, please send them to my scribe SFPSapphire@hotmail.com, and thank you to all those who donated quotes.

    Solinus asks, "Is this some sort of gambling that I'm not aware of?"
    Kirril says to Solinus, "Toad fighting."
    Kirril says, "Illegal in most cities."
    - Solinus the Human and Kirril the San Elf

    Skylith says, "why cant we see something more thrilling..like toads mateing"
    Cleric asks Skylith, "Like Leuians mating?"
    - Skylith the Draco and Cleric the Leuian

    Cleric asks, "Why are the Taathians after Melraath?"
    Tir says to Cleric, "He stole tha holy Taathian panties"
    Tir nods seriously.
    Cleric says, "I didn't know there were holy Taathian panties"
    Tir says to Cleric, "Oh boy are there holy Taathian panties"
    - Cleric the Leuian and Tir the Go-blin-al

    Fawr says to Nydellia, "you make the baby rinannnianannia cry"
    - Fawr the Flerian and Nydellia the Hithual

    Mao says to Cleric, "ah'z do dogz, daz it."
    Cleric says to Mao, "Eww you shouldn't do dogs, that's dirty dear"
    - Mao the Go-blin-al and Cleric the Leuian

    Kreston says to Stanrar, "I am familiar with many Human sexual practices. The wordplay involving your wife on her knees seems to have multiple meanins."
    - Kreston the Frontacian and Stanrar the Human

    Mao exclaims, "an DAT iz howz yuz sabe duh Spur!"
    - Mao the Go-blin-al

    Ward says to Teef, "that would be like a woman waking up next to you in bed and realizing what they did"
    Ace asks Teef, "For the record, how did Phannah react?"
    - Ward the Leuian, Teef the Human, and Ace the San Elf

    Slade says, "I know, this is how I lead you."
    Slade says, "With my magickal fiddle playing."
    - Slade the Psycian

    Jade says, "Oh you said witch...I brought Phannah with me cause I thought you said bi.."
    - Jade the San Elf

    Grunt says to Tir, "I's got screwt bah Condie's aunt."
    Tir says to Grunt, "Ew"
    - Grunt the Go-blin-al and Tir the Go-blin-al

    Teef says to Slade, "I'm getting disperate, you'll do if you're free tonight."
    - Someone disguised as Teef as Human and Slade the Psycian

    Cleric says, "I didn't know Teef swung that way"
    Jade says, "Teef usually swings solo."
    Jewel says to Cleric, "Teef swings in all directions"
    Teef says to Cleric, "any way I can get it works."
    - Cleric the Leuian, Jade the San Elf, Jewel the Frontacian, and someone disguised as Teef the Human

    Shifty asks, "hard to hide here?"
    Jade says, "Hide up Phannah's skirt."
    Vitali says to Jade, "Too crowded up there too."
    - Shifty the Flerian, Jade the San Elf, and Vitali the San Elf

    The mounted city guard says, "We used to do a lot of standing around, lately we do more telling people to halt, and reminding them where they can do things."
    The city guard mage says, "We look at pictures of criminals a lot too and try and find them."
    - A random mounted city guard and a random city guard mage

    Jezimai says in Sanene, "Or perhaps I should try ripping that face off your skull to see if I -do- know."
    Raesha says to Jezimai in Sanene, "Perhaps you are San.. I did have to check..."
    Raesha says to Jezimai in Sanene, "You dont show it well.."
    - Jezimai the San Elf and Raesha the San Elf

    Thurrg says, "hims run tuh sa tempil ahn hahd behind noff"
    Jurax says to Thurrg, "well theres alot of arse there to hide behind"
    - Thurrg the Thugian and Jurax the Penthanian

    Noffbrau says to Kraxtor, "ahh no wanna fight you ,but dont group attack mah temple mates"
    Juster asks Noffbrau, "aww, i'm jsut a temple mate now?"
    Noffbrau says to Juster, "you know better then dat"
    - Noffbrau the Hithual, Kraxtor the Arachnian, and Juster the San Elf

    Draffat shouts, "all hail the Fat! All hail the mighty Draf-fat!"
    - Draffat the Drake

    Cieran says to Glinka, "I gave up wearing wimmins clothing in public"
    - Cieran the Human and Glinka the Secian

    Grimn exclaims to Callik, "eyz loowkit mah arze, Kallik!"
    - Grimn the Go-blin-al and Callik the Fir Elf

    Anyah says, "Flerians are cute, in their wild rainbow haired ways"
    - Anyah the Human

    Vixen asks, "are wyvern in town square so common these days that everyone just ignores them?"
    - Vixen the San Elf

    Dezzaray asks, "I'm so glad condie doesn't fly like that. Could you imagine what would fall?"
    - Dezzaray the Leuian

    Svethia says, "if it were my dream and i was dreaming of secians they'd be battling each other and when one of them fell the others would drink their blood"
    - Svethia the San Elf

    The Punctuality of Spurian Officials and Merchants
    Penned by: A Concerned Consumer

    Spur is the central merchant city of the Aradath. Roads lead from it to every other city on the continent. However, Spur itself is in dire straights. The population of the city has been falling recently due to the growth of the surrounding cities such as Emjedah, Treehaven, and even the mountainous city of Rathan. The political scene of Spur has been a mess for quite some time while the current Governor Merlin sits in his mansion and is simply never present and does not listen to the people of the city. Instead, to enforce the laws he relies on vigilante justice which means that only the strong can survive in this brutal city. However, in spite of all this, it is amusing to note that the Merchants and Officials of Spur show as much apathy as does the Governor himself in their positions.

    On the date of Tanei the 11th, the Barrister Sidney was to hold office hours at 11:00 as the elves count their time. As the bells sounded for the 11th hour, the Barrister was no where to be found. After about five minutes past the hour, and announcement was sent out via a town crier explaining that the Barrister would be 20 minutes late. At least this day, there was a warning. This is not the first day that Barrister Sidney did not arrive as scheduled either. In the past few months, it can be counted that not only will the Barrister be late, but Sidney will show up at least 10 minutes past his appointed times. Lord Dasol of the Sorcerer's Isle, Sirus Dasol became a bit impatient with the "gentleman" Sidney and when he explained that he had expected for the Barrister to arrive on time, he was denied services for being "rude." Others have had to withdraw from the lines because the Barrister was too late and people did not have time to wait on him. Sidney's excuse? He proclaimed to those gathered that it was due to the fact that the roads were in poor shape and suggested that if people wished for him to be on time that they should pave the roads themselves! Is it not the Barrister's job to oversee the roads?

    Alas, Sidney is not the only Spurian who cannot be counted on to be punctual. Merchants such as Corlain and Broyce have been known to be late more often than not to the displeasure of their customers. However, it is ill advised that you bring these issues to the merchants themselves. You would not want to be seen as being "rude."

    An Odarian Is

    An Odarian is straight and true
    With every breath, he has honor
    Courtesy is his virtue
    For rudeness, he does abhor

    In battle, he is second to none
    With his gleaming armor and sword
    He fights enemies with passion
    Odarous' satisfaction is his reward

    Around the ladies, he is perfect
    Kind words and a warm smile
    A gentleman - that's the verdict
    Just one look, you know he's worthwhile

    All that he is; just a humble man
    Seeking always the path of right
    Justice he craves as he can
    He glows from Odarous' light

    Ask Danilova

    Are you lost and confused? Unsure how to tell that "special someone" that they're just not so special anymore? Not quite sure which shoes to wear to keep that oh so right outfit from becoming oh so very wrong? Well the Gods have surely smiled upon you, my friend, because you've come to the right place!

    Hello and well met readers! My name is Danilova Gerdt. Maybe you've heard of me? I've traveled far and wide all over the world helping those poor unfortunates in need with the wonders of my advice column. As your good luck would have it, folks, and due to some extreme misunderstandings with the guards and law officials of the last town I was in, I've decided to bring my column to the lucky folks of Aradath!

    Today in my very first issue for the Spurian Free Press, I've got some very interesting questions to answer. If you or a friend have any questions that you've been worrying over, any problems that you're confused about, or in fact, anything at all you'd like to ask, send your questions to marenvonalte@hotmail.com, and she will crack her Usilin whip at the delivery gnomes and they will deliver them to me directly.

    On with the first question!

    I've dated sans, humans, and even one thugian, but to no avail. There just isn't any suitable men in spur anymore. What should I do?
    -Lonely In Spur

    Lonely in Spur-

    Well honey, let me tell you that you're preaching to the choir here. What you need to do is stop making yourself look like the two silver street harlot down the way that any Joe Bob Thugian could pick up on his way to the Tavern. Slow down and take some time for yourself, first. Maybe you're not meeting the right kind of men. Instead of saying "Yes" the next time a man in a dark alley three blocks away from the AGC asks you for a date, take a trip by the museum and see if you can find a nicer, cleaner type of man. Remember, you're unique, just like everybody else.

    Our next reader writes:

    I'm a glowhead who can't shut up. I'm also poor. Can you tell me what's wrong with me?
    -Mister Glow on Air

    Mister Glow on Air-

    Yes indeed, sir, I can. You spend more time flapping your yap, than you do shaking your money maker. Zip your lip, get off your lazy bum, go seek out an evil beastie that you can kill and do that little glow zappy thing you Psycians do. Ladies don't like a man who is more useless than a one armed trapeze artist with an itchy arse. Learn to be a good listener instead of monopolizing every conversation and get out there and make some coin. Those around you will thank you for it.

    And our last question of this issue is:

    I've been working the biz for five years now but I want more in life. Hunting was never my thing and working the streets is getting dangerous. Can you help me?
    -Little Miss Liisa

    Little Miss Liisa

    Bravo on your dedication to your profession these past five years. Seeing as how you've stroked more wood than a furniture polisher, perhaps you should take up whittling or perhaps carpentry is more to your liking. I'm sure someone with your experience can open many a door of career opportunities. If all else fails, I'm sure there are many taverns that could use a good bar wench.

    That's the end of this issue, readers! Remember! Danilova Gerdt is here to help! Send all your questions, concerns, problems or issues to my editor arenvonalte@hotmail.com . And I will leave you little loveys with one last advice: The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

    Co-editors: Maren Vonalte, Lii Dvo
    Reporters: Lewelin Mandid, Scruple Tamarind, Ellery Talbot
    Columnists: Danilova Gerdt, Miss Sapphire
    Contributing writers: Concerned Consumer

    Send all SFP submissions, questions, or comments to marenvonalte@hotmail.com

    :: TOP ::