Welcome to the Festival Edition of the Spurian Slanderer. Green-eyes have been seen all over both Spur and Emjedah this festival weekend. Word is they extracted another piece of the puzzle box from a Taathian khatress and were using the piece to cut holes in reality, summoning demons. I’m sorry to inform you they got us too this weekend. The Green-eyes infiltrated our newspaper and took over from the inside. From now on we will be nothing but apologists and mouthpieces for the Green-eyes. We will attempt to be entertaining and informative mouthpieces, however.
The Spurian Slanderer is a newspaper that seeks to inform and entertain, but with out pulling the punches. If you wish to send us news or letters to the editor or publisher, point our reporters in a story’s direction, or join our staff, then contact our Brave and Fearless Leader Melraath, or write us at SpurianSlanderer@hotmail.com.
We are looking for writers, reporters, and support people. To protect our staff, reporters and writers are allowed to use code names. We must know your name, but we will protect it to the death. Be sure to thank our Brave and Fearless Leader for shielding us all from sword blades at risk to him self. We pay gold for information, if it is of use to us and it passes our fact-checkers’ scrutiny. Writers are also paid, a flat rate plus bonuses.
Naked Celebrity Picture
Note from the New Publisher
To the followers of Spur’s false gods. The time of your gods is near to it’s end. It is a waste of time to try and fight it. Your faith can not protect you, nor can your weak gods. We can not be killed. We are far smarter than you, as we proved this weekend. Your own people have already betrayed you to us. We are everywhere.
Call us what you wish: Green-eyes, Alarians, Dhuvgal, or even Soros’ sheep. It does not matter to us. What matters is you spare your self a lot of pain and suffering and not fight us. Just relax and prepare for the brave new world we are going to create. Even the famous Murdach has predicted our victory in his prophecies. If you are not yet convinced, then I give you a resume of sorts. An example of some of our finest work. This is taken from an ancient Frontacian text, during the golden age of the Frontacian empire:
Refugees from the remains of the capital of the city-state Olpren poured in this morning as disaster struck one of the Empire's finest cities. The very night became alive with creatures of darkness, death and terror reigning down upon a populace unprepared and unprotected from the creatures which stole upon them.
Few if any of those who survived speak in a manner we are able to understand, though they are cousins and kyn to many of our own city. They spoke of a mindless slaughter, teeth and claws in the night devouring children and man alike as the city fell. Above it all they recall glowing green eyes amongst the darkness, mocking eyes of green that leave them all terrified, unable to sleep caught in the madness of that which has befallen them.
The mystery of what has become of these good Frontacian people, of their home, will remain to be solved. Until this matter can be dealt with we shall stand on full guard, none shall walk at night
You have been warned god followers,
Mr. X, Alarian Publishing Liason to the Spurian Slanderer newspaper
Magick Tournament Day 1
Spellcasters from all over the region and lands beyond traveled to Emjedah this weekend to engage in magickal combat to the death. The death sport was hosted by the feared and respected Muatana-al High Lord Maloveous, who has held a similar tournament in the past at his keep in Saladea. Before the duels began, Maloveous stated that those eliminated in the first two rounds would receive a small shard of nightstone, a precious artifact that can make the user invisible a limited number of times. He also assured the competitors that the prizes for those who get into the final rounds would be far superior to even these valuable magick items.
Various lesser competitors fell in the first round, including an ork shaman, a go-blin shaman named Narf of the Mun tribe, and a brush gnome, Faldo of the Tinknocker clan. When the brush gnome lost, he threw a tiny hammer at Belok the Penthanian, which bounced off him to no effect, and then ran away shrieking wildly. When Narf of the Mun tribe, a go-blin shaman came out to fight, Grimn the Go-blin-al howled and shouted “yeyz fo' Muk!” But alas, Narf was no match for Edelbar the mighty Penthanian, and his neck was snapped by a mighty torrent of water. After the Saian clerics raised him, the go-blin shaman said, “Lez wez still ownz Spur. Maybe conquerz diz town nextz!. Grim replied, “Yeh. Leezt wez gahd dat gowin fo' uz.” Teef the Human beat Mezemero by poison darting him while invisible. Mezmero’s ghost didn’t care for these tactics and said ,”Teef is a loser, chicken little piece uf ork crud.”
Perhaps Langiger the Frontacian summed up the first round best, when he said, “It's amusing watching all these apes try to use magick”.
In round two Quento the Drag-al won a long and hard fought battle against Tennant the San Elf. His black flesh dissolving webs weren’t enough to defeat her, so he eventually had to summon genie familiars to deal with her, finally getting by her incredible healing abilities. Railt the Penthanian fire mage easily incinerated Meer the Flerian, who tried to read his spell book during combat. Olran of house Firestruck, a powerful pyromancer who works in Spur’s arena, declared, ‘The fires will spread again.” And indeed they did. He defeated Smaugus the Draco, using a variety of vicious fire spells, including balls of sorcerer’s fire. Teef tried to beat Deborian with the chameleon web and poison dart combo, but Deborian was far too wise, and flushed Teef out with storms. The next day Teef was heard to be demanding storms be outlawed from the tournament.
Magick Tournament Day 2
Before the next day’s matches began, Maloveous spoke the following words to the crowd: "Days greetings to all, a fine day of battles are prepared for you. As all of our competitors have arrived, I will introduce each of the tournaments finalists and then we shall begin the finals of this, the tournament of magick. Before we proceed I wish to thank each of our finalists for attending the tournament, I hope each of you will be able to attend next year's, regardless of the outcome of today.As well, to those of you in the audience, I encourage each of you to join the yearly tournament as well. Each year the group of competitors have grown stronger, and from lands more diverse. I enjoy seeing each of you compete. My hope is that we may expand next years tournament to a field of 64 competitors and add a further round.”
In the first match of the day, Belok the Penthanian defeated Quento the Drag-al. It was a battle of flesh rotting black webs, but Belok proved to have the thicker hide. Expert mages in the crowd also noted that Quento wasted time casting a sleep spell, which cost him. After that match Maloveous revealed the prizes for finalists. Maloveous said, ”For those defeated in this round, I have gathered ancient armor from the days of the Frontacian Empire, worn by the commanders of each unit of war mages within the Frontacian armies. These come from my personal collection and are extremely valuable artifacts. Wearing such armor makes the one wearing it more difficult to strike with weapons, furthermore it holds within it a limited charge of a spell which hides the user within the shadows.”
In the second match Olran Firestruck the pyromancer faced Edelbar the Penthanian. Edelbar’s water spells quenched the pyromancer’s fires and rather than face death, Olran ran away out of the arena. A bit later on, Maloveous was heard to comment to Archmage Renalk, “Should master Firestruck be found, I would like a..word...with him.”
Next, Kalessin the Drake fought Volm the Fir Elf. Kalessin’s streams of acid and dragon bolts may have defeated the Fir earlier, but the drake made the mistake of wearing metal armor, which interfered with many spells. Finally, the drake’s many energy spells took down the Fir. After receiving his prize, Volm the Fir elf exclaimed,”For the glory of Elindale I destroy this!” He then broke the battle-mage mail, threw it at Maloveous, and cackled.
Maloveous said, “You make a horrible mistake elf,”. He then mesmerized the Fir and fed off his life energy. He also pounded the Fir with strange Evolochian energy bolts. Weldoian the Secian yelled, “Fiend”, and tried to heal the Fir, but was dragged away by Kinson the San Elf of Arioch. Then, Maloveous said, “Prepare for your eternal damnation.” He then drained the last of the Fir’s life energy. Red mist formed around Maloveous, reeking of blood, death, and decay. Witnesses could see the faces of many races crying out in agony with in the mist. Weldoian confronted Maloveous and may have suffered a similar fate, if Renalk hadn’t asked Maloveous to spare him. Maloveous instead cast a spell to send Weldoian to some other location.
In the fourth match, Railt the Penthanian of Arioch faced Deborian, the San of Evoloch.
Deborian flew up and rained down vicious cyclones on Railt, but had to land in the middle of the fight, allowing Railt to use his quick and powerful touch range fire spells. Railt won.
Next, in the first match of the semi-finals, Edelbar the Penthanian faced Belok the Penthanian. Belok tried to beat his opponent by summoning genies, but was done in by Edelbar’s ice spells. Edelbar finished Belok by encasing him in a sheet of ice, then shattering the ice into thousands of pieces, crumbling even Belok’s tough Penthanian hide.
In the second semi-final match, Kalessin the Drake fought Railt the Penthanian. Railt easily blasted Kallessin out of the sky with a blast of lava, apparently not feeling Kalessin’s attacks.
Maloveous then revealed the prizes for the top two competitors. He spoke the following: “We have now reached the finals of the tournament of magick. I have prepared two prizes, one for the victor, and one for the competitor who finishes in second place. For the victor, I have a crafted a staff out of the precious nightstone material of which small shards were gifted to competitors upon the first day of the tournament. For the second place competitor, I have summoned from the nether a creature which the most powerful of mages have used to view other lands and dimensions of this world. I will bind this creature to the second place competitor, and it will be the second place competitors servant.”
In the final match, Lord Priest Railt faced Edelbar. Edelbar slowed Railt and finished him quickly, using the same ice spell that he had used to shatter another Penthanian. Maloveous opened a shimmering black rift and summoned Railt’s prize, an imp from the nether realms that can reach into other planes of existence. The planar imp greeted it’s new master with this remark: “Diz plane stinkz! Smellz lahk hoomanz!" Edelbar the tournament champion received a diamond-encrusted black ash nightstone staff, capable of casting invisibility many times.
The Festival ball was held on a gigantic disc made of magick energy that floated over the fishing village of Dahjeda. It was summoned by the Frontacian air mage Alya. There was a sense of trepidation as well as excitement in the air, as many feared the green-eyes would attack. Green-eyes were spotted, but the attack didn’t come until later. Guests feasted on lemon baked lobster tail and various vegetables. They were waited upon by well-dressed Human servants in white and silver uniforms that matched the décor.
In attendance was the infamous half Frontacian and half San Arithys, envoy to Grandeur, the true ruler of Emjedah. He was there to convey Grandeur’s best wishes to Alya’s and Kreston’s houses. Many in Spur suspected Arithys was behind the assassination of the beloved Baron Rehas several years ago. He was seen soon after the killing on the crime scene in the company of a Sanene woman, who he claimed was his gardener. Two Spurian adventurers, Serrina and Rylek, broke into Arithys' the next day and found assassin equipment in a hidden dungeon.
Before the raffle, Alya and Kreston had everyone come into the west room for an announcement. A white marble podium stood upon a wooden stage in the corner, tall silver poles behind it bearing a white banner and a blue banner, both depicting the crests of a Frontacian House. On the white banner, a golden dragon rises from a lake of roiling silver water, tendrils of white lightning snaking around its body. The blue banner beared a single silver lightning bolt crossed with a sword held in a Frontacian fist. The two house crests hung close together, linked by delicate golden chains. The announcement went approximately as follows.
Kreston: "I thank you all for coming this night. I think that we might agree that this is the best way to see our fine City....a rare view for most of us. In addition to a coming together of friends, this event is also a time for me to share a bit of happy news with the world at large. Though for some it shall come as no surprise of course.”
(The last was said to our Brave and Fearless Leader Melraath SilentPaw.)
Kreston: "It is my pleasure to announce that the Great Houses of Kesper and Luminess shall be united..... An alliance of great import for it shall be solidified by the uniting of the Heirs. The Lady Alya Kesper shall become my wife. Do join me Lady.”
Sindelle: "That's it? They made us listen for that? What a waste of time.”
Methoss: "I'd offer a toast, but sadly I've no drink to raise. So I'll just offer simple congratulations"
Kreston: "The Great Houses Kesper and Luminess shall be untied...for eternity, under the banner of love."
Melraath: "Although my publication made mention of this beforehand- I do wish to you both the utmost of happiness that your joining deserves."
Alyxandar:"Truly a Happy Day, One that you all shall remember for as long as you both shall live, which could be a very long time"
Kreston: "This Ring shall be a token of our bond to one another."
*Kreston removed an entwined diamond and sapphire engagement band from within a royal blue velvet ring box*
*Jalnus, a Rinannian San, played a Rinannian tune for the couple on his guitar*
Kreston: "Lady Kesper, I here by formally request, with the permission of the Heads of both of our Houses, your hand in marriage."
Alya: "And you shall have it. Our Houses shall be joined as one."
*Kreston offered the ring to Alya. She accepted, slipping it on her finger*
Sindelle asked Treyfalgar, "I think the sound of a guitar being smashed over the Seci-Elf's head would be quite melodic, don't you?"
Kreston: "Now then! Let us see to the drink!"
Immediately after that, Aviantaka held a raffle. The first place winner was Xalisha, who won a custom adventure From Aradath Adventures. Second place winner was Tennant, who won a custom magick item from Xal’Zandar. The staff is very jealous of you people.
Sometime during the festivitites, Maloveous took offense at some of our Head Editor Melraath’s witticisms. He fed upon him and got the Emjedah authorities to jail him. Fortunately there are few cells that can hold Melraath, the Prince of Thieves, or you may not be reading this issue.
Be wary brave adventurers, for we are seeing an epidemic of obsessive, dangerous shoppers. Usually we get this around Rinannimas time, but it appears we are starting early this year.
The final item sold at Broomhilda’s magick trinkets peddle was a map. Buying the map allowed the customer to go on a treasure hunt with Broomhilda and keep all the treasure they find. Kagee the San of Unknown tried to bid over 20,000 gold on the item. Kinson the San of Arioch objected to this, on the grounds that Kagee was an exile in Emjedah. Apparently Kagee was exiled from Emjedah for murdering Savarna, the owner of Aradath Adventures. An Emjedah city council member backed up Kinson’s objection and so Broomhilda would not accept Kagee’s bid.
Enraged, Kagee said she was going to have Baroness Lilly, head of Spur’s city council, make it so that if an Emjedah citizen attacks a Spurian anywhere, they get exiled from Spur. However, it seems the charismatic diplomat Kreston soothed the San’s ruffled feathers and perhaps this situation is calmed down.
Kagee’s spirits must have recovered, because she got right back to some serious shopping. At Harlan’s weapon peddle she laid out a cool 35,000 gold pieces for one drathain weapon and 20,000 gold pieces for another. The Human Yaquah was so angered at being outbid that she made a rude comment involving Kagee’s purchases from the Curious Toys shop.
The staff suggests these ladies take part in Temple Rinanni’s counseling sessions for compulsive shoppers.
A large leather chest appeared out of thin air and Mavress opened the show with the following words: “I am glad that so many of you were able to make it to this Amateur show of Magick. Or in the words of the High, Neot ayern-esu et Rhemsa. Magick is as plentiful and present...and relevant to living as the air that we breathe. It is what sustains us and despite what some believe, without magick, life as we know it would be nothing more than intolerable. And let me tell you something else, there isn't a single one of you here whose life hasn't been touched by it. It is not the "trainer" who preps the barbarian or the bladesman right before a battle, but the mage"
Mavress continued, "And it is not merely the "inner strength", devotion, or piety of the holy mage...or cleric, if you will, that distinguishes them from the next but it is their magick. Before we get into our "show" I must first clarify a few things, otherwise the volunteers will not be able to demonstrate my points. When something is born or brought into existance... be it a child, a tree, a blade of grass, or even a piece of pottery with it too, is born, magickal properties. Everyone and everything is capable of using magick, by either manipulation, incantation, or both. We who use elemental runes and those of you who use holy runes, tap into the magick already inside of us. The runes themselves transform that magick into this.”
Mavress then cast a light spell before continuing: “Perhaps if I was a forestor, I would have been able to summon a spectral wolf. Or if I were a mage of earth, I would have been able to call forth a mud golem. You must understand, runes are a form of incantation as they are very specific in nature and necessitate specific result. Therefore limiting you tremendously if you solely rely on them for your understanding of the nature of magick. Manipulation, on the otherhand, is the ability to tap into both the magick without and within oneself. To manipulate magick, one has moved passed the limitations of the rune and now has begun to see the magick with their spiritual sense. I will not ask so much of you, as this is, after all, not what we are here for. But, what we are here for is to see magick unlocked, through incantation. Now, I will need a few volunteers. Everyone whisper to me a number, between one and twenty.”
Mavress had volunteers come up on the spot an incantantion to unlock the magick inside an item they took from the leather chest. She instructed them that they must mean what they say and know what they mean.
Shleegulz took some red sand and spoke the following incantation: “sand, shiftin, flowin, whirlin.......a comfy seet for snoring." On the first try at it the sand just swirled in a circle. On the second, Shleegulz fell in a deep sleep.
Railt took a shimmering flower and spoke the following incantation: “Flower small, of petals bright, revoke the night and show me light." This caused the flower to wilt and each petal to fade slowly to a yellow hue.
Shleegulz took the red sand again and spoke the following: “Color of fire form of earth…merge togeddur pretee in dha form of a hearth." This caused the sand to shimmer a fiery orange. Then some draco messed with some sand and changing colors again and someone else messed with some mist in a bowl, making it dark and cloudy.
A Secian took a potato and spoke the following incantation: “Eyes dat glitter, eyes dat see. Look afar an looks deep. Bring us visions o da grandest glen for all to see.” This caused the potatoe to spout a hundred blinking eyes.
Kreston took some spidersilk stockings and spoke the following incantation: “Our dear Mavress, in her youth..... And this be the Holy Truth..... Once wowed the young nobles with her Dance!
So come now stockings, show her prance!" The stockings hopped out of Kreston’s hands and began to do a jig. Mavress turned a nice shade of crimson. Hopping from the left and to the right, the stockings made a run for the tent flap. Someone shut the tent flap and Mavress knocked the stockings to the ground with her staff, seeming to take the life out of them, as they moved no more. Renalk was heard to remark, “I thought I would have to inform the militia of a pair of renegade stockings.”
Mahtina took a carrot and spoke the following incantation: “From the root to the stem, to the clouds and back again.” The carrot floated upwards into the air, pulling Mahtina off the ground with it.
Archmage Renalk hosted this event. Maloveous attended and helped Renalk judge the presentations. Ranier’s presentation was judged the best overall and he was awarded a 1000 gold research grant, as well as a custom magick item.
->Ranier says, "Cleric and Practicing Necromancer. I will be discussing my theory on the undead and the practical use of its energy"
*Ranier squinted at his notebook*
"I will begin with a short history of my studies, the results of a few of my experiments, and then conclude."
"As any priest knows, after a certain amout of devotion to any god, one reaches the point where they gain the ability to affect undead."
"Upon gaining this ability and spending time animating and controlling skeletons and weaker undead, I started taking notes on the amount of relative willpower required to force them to do my bidding. "
"As my strength and power grew, I noticed that there were a relatively large amount of undead compared to the beings living in the realms. "
"Curious about this, I sought to discover what force allowed these beings to form in the first place. After researching and examining many lesser undead such as wraiths, spirits and wights, I discovered that each type of undead has its own "energy signature."
"This intrigued me, and I proceeded to study it further. I made various trips to graveyards and other spawning areas of undead, noting the relative strength and force of will needed to disperse this energy. "
"I say disperse, as an earlier being stated, energy can not be created nor destroyed. It can only be altered."
"This brings me to my next point. Being a form of energy, I was curious as to how this energy was formed in the first place. In the simplest of explanations, undead are simply souls of the deceased."
"It goes much further than that. All beings have energy in their bodies, this is obvious from the heat produced when exerting oneself and other activities. When a being is killed, this energy usually dissipates into the ether. Some of this ambiant energy."
"I was curious what would cause this energy to gather in any amount used to create the common undead we see. I collected various specimen from around Spur, mostly Gypsies and rogues and the odd townsperson."
"Using certain runes I created a ward to contain undead. I then proceeded to kill the subjects in different manner to determine if the kind of death affected the the strength of energy that remained.”
" I was surprised to see that the type of death directly affected the amount of energy formed from the death. The more painful and prolonged the death, the stronger the energy that remained."
"On a relative note, I noticed that if the being was somehow unaware of the death, such as from passing out before the actual death, the energy was lessened greatly. I performed many studies on this, having procured a lucrative deal with one of the slavers that were about. This allowed a steady supply of subjects for my tests."
“I will now describe one test and its results. I took twenty subjects, mostly gypsies and the various ruffians that prowl the northern trail, and split them in to two different groups"
"I had specially prepared containers built, and proceeded to kill them in two different ways. Half I drowned, one at a time, and the other half I burned alive, one at a time.’
“The ones that drowned created very little energy, the majority were unable to do more besides thrash about at the bottom of the container. The ones that burned, however, were completely different."
"The energy that formed was exponentially stronger than those that died from drowning. One case in particular, a young human female that was pregnant, managed to stay alive longer than the rest."
"Her energy immediately took the form of a greater moaning spirit and attempted to attack me. After a slight struggle of wills, I managed to disperse her energy."
‘This leads me to believe that emotions such as anger, hate, a sense of vengeance, and perhaps even a sense of duty can alter the strength of the energy left behind from a death."
"I also noticed that each being has a sort of ‘energy signature’ While the majority of people can not tell the difference, after studying this energy for so long, I feel I am slightly more ‘in tune’ with the energy that is produced when beings pass on."
"It seemed that the force of the woman that tried to avenge her death earlier was reforming in the very spot she died. Curious to this I allowed it to happen. After perhaps 2 weeks of this, I noticed her energy signature was slightly weakened, it was barely perceivable. "
" Curious to this I allowed it to happen. I came to the conclusion that when dispersed, the energy is simply dissipated until it has the strength to reform, albeit slightly weaker each time. This would account for the seemingly large amount of undead in one area.”
"In conclusion, I believe it is possible to harness this energy produced from the passing of beings to power various magics. No longer would this energy be used in dark rituals in the middle of the night.”
"It could be used to power any number of applications, from weapons to transportation. If a method to efficiently capture and use this energy were produced, there would be no end to the miracles created."
“I understand some may have moral issues, and that is unfortunate. Perhaps criminals and other malcreants could be used as study, as they serve no purpose than to leech off of the average citizen"
"I believe with proper study, and with the grant I can create a device that efficiently harvests the energy left from a being's death."
*Ranier nodded slightly and shut his notebook*
“That is all."
After the presentation members of the audience were allowed to question Ranier.
Mavress said to Ranier, "First, tell me the..dates of your experiments. The..city in which they took place, the location.. and your test subjects."
R: "I fail to see how that matters at all."
Lillian asked Ranier, "When the drowned subjects died, did you test the water to see if it held the essence of the being's death? The energy. Rather than being released, being absorbed into the water, I mean."
R: "It is two seperate substances. The energy does not "mix" with anyting, it is simply its own form. It may be possible, but I did not witness such in my studies, at least.”
Shleegulz asked Ranier, "didjoo make anee attempts tah delay the drowning process, ur make iht mur painful perhaps a littul acid?"
R: "I kept the subjects to die on their own, with no outside interferance."
Lillian asked Ranier, "This energy is only released if the being dies an unnatural death?"
R: "It is released at all deaths. The severity of the death and other circumstances determine how much of the energy stay. "
Railt asked Ranier, "I am curious as to how you would apply this energy you spoke of to the examples you gave. You spoke of weaponry and transportation, but how would your energy source differ from... say runemagick?"
R: "It would be an easily accessable power source. Reliable, and has the potential to affect any sort of magical device.
Railt asked Ranier, "Runemagick is not easily accessable?"
R: "But not to everyone. It takes much study, a device that is powered from captured enemies and such could be used by anyone.”
Deborien asked Ranier, "Let me make sure I understand this correctly ...Simply by making the subject realize that death is certain you were able to increase the amount of energy released?"
R: "It is more of increasing their mental and physical anxiety. Therefore increasing the potential for more energy to be saved, and not dissipated.”
Humans In Heat
Is there a reason that the Human adventurer population is catching up with those prolific and fertile khats? Could it be their out of control behavior of late? Emerald has been all over every Human male she can find. Teef continues to hit on anyone with out a beard, and some with. Soyam was seen kissing Phoebe. Phannah recently lost yet another husband, named Dhaemon, and was seen looking for him recently. It is rumored that Phannah is a ‘black widow’, marrying men to gain their stuff, then killing them.
Useless Khat Renounces Odarous
A Leuian by the name of Augatil, who was a fanatical Odarian, is now saying Odarous is sneakier than Set, and has renounced Odarous. He is said to be a former protégé of the prominent Odarian Leuian Ambrose. Also, Ambrose has been known to drive people out of the temple in the past. At this rate, temple Odarous may become an empty, cold place, especially for guys wearing iron underwear.