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The Spurian Slanderer

The Spurian Slanderer
Volume 1 Issue 4
"Fair and Balanced ~ Alarian Publishing" ...

4/25/319

Models, mothers, and merchants oh my! Wyverns and beautiful women are swarming in the Spur and who can complain about that? Still though, we miss the lovable, portal-opening antics of the Greeneyes.

Our demonic masters have demanded we flood the Spur with pornography for all races and religions. If you have a pornography request please write us at the paper address. We apologize for not showing Anyah the bard nude in the Sindelle picture. That bastahd Ace, our staff artist, refuses to draw models of his agency naked. We tried to be more balanced and give the ladies something to ogle this time. We also added political cartoons. This issue we have more pictures, more interviews, and more models!

The Spurian Slanderer is a newspaper that seeks to inform and entertain, but with out pulling the punches. If you wish to send us news or letters to the editor or publisher, point our reporters in a story’s direction, or join our staff, then contact our Brave and Fearless Leader Melraath, or write us at SpurianSlanderer@hotmail.com.

We are looking for writers, reporters, and support people. To protect our staff reporters and writers are allowed to use code names. We must know your name, but we will protect it to the death. Be sure to thank our Brave and Fearless Leader for shielding us all from sword blades at risk to him self. We pay gold for information, if it is of use to us and it passes our fact-checkers’ scrutiny. Writers are also paid, a flat rate plus bonuses.

Staff

  • Melraath Silentpaw - Editor. Brave and Fearless Leader. Prince of Thieves.
  • Angel Maybelle – Writer, Reporter, Director of Innocence.
  • Ace Wildcard AKA Changeman Shadowlurk-Writer, Reporter. Staff Director of Morality and Ethics.
  • The Baroness of Beef - Reporter, Coordinator
  • Sarsh - Guardian of the Top Sixes
  • Mr. X - Publisher’s Liason
  • Table of Contents

  • Ward Interview
  • Wyvern Party
  • Wyvern Interview
  • Solinus Interview
  • Solinus’ Ladies
  • Poor Quarter Project
  • Historical Pictures
  • Political Cartoons
  • Taathian Titillation
  • Hithual Loses Drinking Contest, Secian Serial Pantser At Large
  • Sexed Up Secians
  • Marriage Plague Continues
  • Runaway Bard
  • Trouble in Paradise?
  • Temple Leadership Changes
  • Heroic Drake Lord Saves Kitten
  • Hotel Teef
  • The Flamingo Bandit
  • Thugian Merchants
  • Proud Parents
  • Modeling Contest
  • Picture and Interview With Aisha the Model
  • Picture and Interview with Alita the Model
  • Top Sixes
  • Changeman’s Vault
  • Naked Celebrity Pictures

    AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement

    The Imports House Fantastico
    Peddle for the Pantheon
    Sunday 16th 10 pm elven
    There will be an artifact for every pantheon religion sold"

    AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement

    Ward Interview

    Ace: "Thank you for the interview. As you may know, you are at the center of a lot of news lately."

    *Ward nodded to Ace*

    Ace: "Now, you are accused of what? Defrauding the merchant's guild?"

    Ward: "Correct"

    Ace: "What evidence was used to determine this?"

    Ward:(to Ace) "Funny you should ask that. No formal trial was ever given. The only thing that was mentioned in my questioning was informants that work for the guild or for Broyce."

    Ace: "Is a trial going to happen?"

    Ward: "That remains to be seen. I imagine it won't unless I continue to push. Broyce has made no attempts to get in touch with me regarding it."

    Ace: "What are your plans now? It's rumored your peddle was a success."

    *Ward nodded to Ace*

    Ward: "I continued with my peddle but held it in Emjedah instead. The turn out was wonderful and the bids were higher than I expected, even in Spur."

    Ward says, "As for my plans..."

    Ward: "I hope to build on the success of that peddle and show other merchants that they too can work outside of Spur in a place where they don't have to turn over nearly half their profits to taxes."

    Ace: "So you plan to recruit others?"

    Ward: "I am in the process now of establishing a guild in Emjedah that will function independently of Spur, relying on imports from over seas and from the mines there."

    Ward: "In typical Emjedah fashion we will not only meet what Spur has to offer but take it to a higher level"

    Ace: "I understand you have a khat'sara, Farah. Is what the Monitanians say true and she controls your house completely?"

    *Ward chuckled at Ace*

    Ward: "I have no problem agreeing with that. That is likely why they accept me."

    *Ace nodded*

    Ace: "Thank you for the interview sir."

    Wyvern Party

    Wyverns have been spotted all over Spur in recent times. It’s said that their brood mother was killed by dragons, which is why they are now in Spur. The wyvern Eresh-kigal said that the brood mother was like their slave owner. That when they were freed they became unique from each other. From what our reporters have heard, the wyverns were part of a group mind with their brood mother alive. Now, they have their own personalities. They all have a great hunger and in a few cases have eaten Spurians. Some Spurians have successfully reasoned with them and helped find them food, exchanging information. Other Spurians, such as Tchori, have taken to attacking Wyverns on sight. There are efforts being made to have a wyvern talk to the city council, as Governor Merlin is quite curious about these new immigrants.

    Wyvern Interview

    Our reporter Ace ran into a female Wyvern named Zirashi. She had brown skin, golden eyes, was large as many drakes, and had a wicked looking stinger. Zirashi seemed confused in general and asked lots of questions. She was also quite hungry. She thought Ace’s profession of watching people odd. The Psycian Torrana suggested to Ace that if he took the wyvern to hunt some orks he might get her to talk to him, so he coaxed Zirashi to follow him to get some food. Together they slayed two orks, the Wyvern using her large stinger, and Zirashi enjoyed a meal. During the fight, Ace noted the Wyvern’s poison had an effect on the orks, slowing down their reactions.

    The conversation between the two was somewhat confused at times, but here is most of what was said and thought (Wyverns communicate through the mind, at least with non-Wyverns):

    Zirashi: "Why are you helping me?"

    Ace: "Smell any orks?"

    Ace: "The gobbies told me to help you. Do you know the green skinned short ones?"

    Zirashi: "Gobbies?"

    *Zirashi shook her head from side to side*

    Ace: "They are friends of the wyverns. I'm a friend of theirs."

    *Zirashi nodded*

    Zirashi: "We have been separated."

    Ace: "Anyway remember, it's my job to watch. And so I want to watch you."

    Ace: "Ah there we are. Ready?"

    *The pair killed two orks together and Zirashi consumed them*

    Zirashi: "Useful."

    *Zirashi noded to Ace*

    *Ace smiled*

    Ace: "Good stuff?"

    Zirashi: "Not pickled."

    Ace: "Now, do you know who killed the mother?"

    *Zirashi raised an eyebrow*

    Ace: "I heard the mother was killed."

    Zirashi: "Our mother?"

    Ace: "Which is why wyverns are in the area. Yeah. Brood mother?"

    Zirashi: "I cannot remember before I wandered."

    Ace: "Ah I see."

    Zirashi: "Flying high, falling down. Much confusion."

    Ace: "Well then I can fill you in. Other Wyverns say the brood mother was killed."

    Ace: "What is your name?"

    Zirashi: "We are Zirashi."

    Ace: "We are Ace."

    Zirashi: "We are pleased to have met Ace."

    Ace: "We are pleased to have met Zirashi." *Zirashi smiled* .

    Ace: "You may want to seek one called Grimn. He is the boss of these gobbies. And they like Wyverns. And help them eat."

    Zirashi: "Boss?"

    Ace: "Leader?"

    Zirashi: "Brood mother?"

    Ace: "Yeah like that"

    *Zirashi nodded*

    Zirashi: "We will seek the brood mother Grimn."

    Ace: "Maybe talk to other Wyverns too. I want to know more about them. As that's my job."

    Zirashi: "We have found no others."

    Ace: "Well you will. They are here."

    Zirashi: "Here?"

    Ace: "In the area."

    *Zirashi fanned her wings and nodded*

    Ace: "Near where I first met you they have been seen"

    Ace: "Careful who you eat by the way. Some may attack if you eat their friend."

    Zirashi: "Eating friends. This brings us much confusion."

    Ace: "Do you have brothers or sisters?"

    Zirashi: "We were One. But now we are Many."

    *Ace nodded*

    Zirashi: "Where they have gone, we have not followed."

    Ace: "Well these things we just killed aren't that dangerous, although enough of em can get ya."

    Ace: "But there are far more dangerous creatures. So just be careful."

    Zirashi: "Some fight for each other."

    Ace: "Other Wyverns have attacked the wrong people...and I think attacked back."

    Ace: "Well I'm afraid Ace must sleep."

    Zirashi: "There are wrong people. Then there must be right people."

    Ace:(to Zirashi) "Yeah there are."

    Ace: "Orks for now."

    Zirashi: "Do sleep, Ace. We give our thanks for your information."

    Ace: "Good to meet you Zirashi. I will look for you again."

    *Zirashi flew up into the air*

    Solinus Interview

    After hearing about him forming a city council on behalf of Justinaren, a city official, our reporter Ace asked Solinus for an interview. Solinus the Odarian Human is well known for his daily patrols of Spur.

    Ace: "Now we've heard you are forming a city council for the government. Care to tell us about it?"

    Solinus: "Well, I am not forming it, per se. Merely assisting Mister Justinaren, who was hired by the Governor to put a committee together."

    *Ace nodded*

    Solinus: "It is an advisory committee to the Governor, composed of about five individuals selected from the townsfolk. They will, hopefully, represent the entirety of the population of Spur. Or at the very least be approachable by any citizen with a grievance."

    Solinus: "It is my hope they will be able to put law, and order, back into the Spur."

    Ace: "Why will this one work when other efforts failed?"

    Solinus: "Other efforts seem to have been confined mostly to law enforcement, and had no real influence. Not only that, but corruption was rampant. This committee will cover all aspects of Spurian governing, and as each individual is hand picked by Mister Justinaren who is completely impartial, corruption should be non-existent.”

    Solinus: "Moreover, I will ensure that it will be."

    Ace: "How do we know Justinaren is impartial?"

    Solinus:(to Ace) "He is a stranger to the Spur. He had formed many other advisory committees and councils in other places. He listed them all to me at one time, mostly from the Northern Kingdoms."

    Solinus: "Not only that, but he is a Psion and follows none of the Gods."

    Ace: "And he doesn't hate the gods, such as the psion Sordum?"

    Solinus:(to Ace) "He has expressed nothing of the sort. From what I can tell, he is merely impartial."

    Ace: Some would say choosing an Odarian as his helper shows a bias against them. How would you answer this?"

    Solinus: "He did not choose me, I volunteered to help him for the good of the Spur. It is in dire need of order, and law."

    Ace:(to Solinus) "Many, such as Taathians will fear you as an Odarian will be biased against them."

    Ace: "Do you think that's fair?"

    Solinus: "And that is to be expected. I would be a liar if I said that I do not hold small biases against them. However, I feel that judging others upon actions rather than mark is far more important. There is no honor in irrational hatreds."

    *Ace nodded*

    Ace: "This psion has formed other councils....were they successful?"

    Solinus:(to Ace) "He said they were quite successful indeed."

    Ace: "What are you looking for in candidates for this council?"

    Solinus: "Folk who represent a fair smattering of the population, and are approachable by any citizen. Not to mention are interested in the Spur, not themselves first."

    Ace: "Are there any limits? Any races or religions barred from this?"

    Solinus: "Certainly not."

    Ace: "Have you recruited anyone yet?"

    Solinus: "Though, I would hope that there would be only one of any said religion or race. As to not throw off the balance."

    Solinus: "Details of recruitment are confidential, my apologies."

    Ace: "Very well. How can those interested contact you?"

    Solinus: "I make usual patrols through the Spur, and the square. If that fails, I can be contacted through the head scribes office."

    Ace: "Now I'm required by paper law to ask....."

    Ace: "Do you have a significant female in your life?"

    *Solinus chuckled*

    Solinus:(to Ace) "Required by law?"

    Ace: "Paper law."

    Solinus: "The answer to your query is yes."

    Ace: "Surely you know the need for following rules."

    Ace: "Are you into any wild stuff?"

    Solinus:(to Ace) "Beg pardon, "wild stuff"? I do not quite follow..."

    Ace: "Handcuffing....torture....threesomes...."

    *Solinus blinked at Ace*

    Solinus:(to Ace) "I beg your pardon? What is a threesome?"

    Ace: "Surely you are aware of Spur's cultural diversity?"

    Ace: "It is where three people share their love for each other."

    *Solinus scratched his head*

    Solinus: "That's odd."

    Ace: "Spur is a melting pot of ideas and cultures."

    Solinus:(to Ace) "Yes...well. Being from Saldea, I am not quite used to such things."

    Ace: "So your answer is no?"

    Solinus: "I am afraid so, I am not acquainted with odd Spurian practices."

    Ace: "Well I appreciate your time soldier."

    *Ace saluted to Solinus crisply*

    Solinus: "Of course, Sir."

    *Solinus saluted to Ace*

    Solinus' Ladies

    The ladies of Spur seem to like the cut of Solinus the Odarian Human's jib. Several times the Psycian Bethany, the Usil Maren, and the Human Anyah have been caught discussing what outfits he should wear, as if he was a doll. Is it the tall, blonde good looks, the stern demeanor, the political power? We aren't sure, but the Usil Maren was so obsessed that she spent thousands of gold to learn the Human's language. It's also rumored the Sanene clothing fanatic Xaphania may want in on the Odarian action.

    Poor Quarter Project

    There is yet another drive to fight poverty in Spur’s Poor Quarter. Stanrar and Changeman who were working together on this project have had a falling out. Apparently, Stanrar has been telling people that Setites involved in the project are out to scam people. Here is some of a conversation between Stanrar and Changeman:

    Stanrar: "If it fails, especially because someone pulls a scam, people will point at you if you were behind it or not."

    Stanrar: "No, just pointing out that either way you're liable to offend someone."

    Changeman: "I just thought you were insulting me."

    *Changeman nodded*

    Changeman: "Yeah that's a given.."

    Stanrar: "On the other hand, if it works you get a bonus."

    Stanrar: "Or at least what might be a bonus." .

    Changeman: "The bonus is that it works."

    Stanrar: "New streets need names, what say we do one for Reason."

    Historical Pictures

    *Here is a sketch of a well-dressed Human watching a weary Psycian surrounded by a blue aura. An enormous line of adventurers wait to pick up their weapons*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Merchant Guildmaster Rehas watches his apprentice Sordum see to customer needs*

    *Here is a sketch of a well-dressed Human holding up a gleaming sword. He is flanked by two incredibly gorgeous females, one a petite Sanene woman, the other a dark-furred Leuian*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Rehas and his lovely models Koni and Kass*

    *Here is a sketch of a well-dressed Human posing with a female Psycian. The Psycian woman’s smile is somewhat shy*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Rehas and his beloved Allandra*

    *Here is a sketch of a well-dressed Human whispering to a glacial Muatana-al woman. A haughty Sanene and a bored-looking Hithual watch from across a table*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Baron Rehas whispers to Baroness Lilly at a Spurian city council meeting. Sir Rylek and Lord Kraggon watch*

    *Here is a sketch of a wiry, male Sanene stabbing a Human, as a beautiful khatress watches on in horror*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Tygerlili the Prelate of Rinanni screams as an assassin disguised as Changeman Shadowlurk murders Baron Rehas. The real assassin was later discovered to be in the employ of Arithys, head of Grandeur of Emjedah’s nighthawk assassins.

    Political Cartoons

    *Here is a caricacture of a pathetically white humanoid chasing a well-dressed dark-furred Leuian male. The Leuian is burdened by huge bags of gold. In the bottom right hand corner of the drawing are the intials RB*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Ward the Leuian merchant dodges Merlin the Tax Man*

    *Here is a caricacture of a grossly fat Human and a stick thin Sanene. They are elbowing each other and trying to force handfuls of gold onto a frightened looking Go-blin-al beggar. In the bottom right hand corner of the drawing are the initials RB*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Stanrar and Changeman fight over the credit*

    Taathian Titillation

    Ever on the look-out for man stealing hussies, Sindelle the Sanene mage had her boytoy Treyfalgar scryed, only to find him in an inn room alone with Anyah the bardess! Anyah claims it was all innocent, but in the past she was supposedly quite close with Treyfalgar. Sindelle responded by trying to kill Anyah several times. Currently, Treyfalgar has been seen around town flirting with Leuians, his new addiction.

    Hithual Loses Drinking Contest, Secian Serial De-Pantser At Large

    Yet another Secian criminal is on the loose, terrorizing the region. He’s very skilled as a head judge and popular with the ladies, but the Hithual Kraggon aka “Kraggles” can not hold his liquor. And this vulnerability was used against him by the archvillian Secian Glinka. Here is how it went down:

    Cleric: "Anyone wanna have a drinking contest?"

    Glinka says, " ooOoo"

    Glinka says, " you first"

    Kraggon:(to Cleric) "What's the prize?"

    Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Laughing at the other person laying passed out on the ground?"

    *Kraggon gaped at Wallace and furrowed his brow*

    Kraggon:(to Cleric) "(Oh, that happens to me a lot in the Rose Tavern."

    Glinka says, " can anyone outdrink a Hith"

    Cleric:(to Glinka) "I can."

    *Cleric nodded up and down*

    Cleric:(to Glinka) "And Drag-als too."

    Glinka says, " Do it"

    Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Wanna go?"

    *Cleric tapped the cask of spiced Silverforge Dark ale*

    Glinka says, " 5 gold on the kitty"

    Kraggon:(to Cleric) "Whar?"

    *Cleric howled at Glinka*

    Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Wanna have the drinking contest?"

    Glinka asks, "Can a Hithual say no?"

    Kraggon:(to Cleric) "Whar it be?"

    Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Right here."

    Kraggon:(to Cleric) "(Oh! I'm there!"

    *Cleric laughed*

    Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Do you have Silverforge ale?"

    *Kraggon removed a flagon of spiced Silverforge Dark ale from within his open large canvas backpack*

    *Cleric beamed*

    *Kraggon sniffed at the flagon of spiced Silverforge Dark ale*

    Glinka says, " take your places,"

    Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Okay, we'll go drink for drink with a few moments between drinks."

    *Kraggon inhaled*

    *Cleric took a drink from her cask of spiced Silverforge Dark ale*

    *Cleric coughed*

    *Kraggon took a drink from her cask of spiced Silverforge Dark ale*

    *Kraggon coughed and hummed* Cleric:(to Glinka) "I feel fine."

    *Cleric nodded up and down*

    Kraggon: "That's one sip."

    *Cleric took a drink* *Cleric coughed*

    *Kraggon took a drink*

    *Kraggon coughed*

    Cleric:(to Glinka) "That's 2!"

    *Kraggon hummed*

    *Cleric took a drink*

    *Cleric coughed*

    Kraggon:(to Cleric) "The first one to fall over loses?"

    Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Pathth out."

    *Kraggon took a drink*

    *Kraggon coughed and fell down*

    *Anyah cackled*

    Kraggon: "Ack!"

    *Glinka howled* Cleric:(to Kraggon) "fiwtht to pathth out." Kraggon: "I wath...ew...twipped!" *Kraggon flailed his arms about wildly*

    Anyah: "Guess who lost!"

    *Kraggon stood up*

    *Wallace glanced at Kraggon and pokes him slowly* *Kraggon grunted*

    Cleric: "No one yet." Glinka: "5 gold on the kitty."

    *Kraggon fell down* *Cleric took a drink* *Cleric coughed* *Kraggon took a drink* *Kraggon stood up* Glinka: "4." Kraggon: "Oooooooooooooooooo." Cleric: "Wetth make it 5." *Cleric coughed* *Cleric and Kraggon fell down* *Cleric poked Kraggon* *Kraggon hiccuped* Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Anothew dwink to catch up to me." Kraggon:(to Syntrik) "Ew..."

    *Kraggon took a drink*

    Kraggon:(to Syntrik) "Ye pwobabwy wondewin' what I be doin."

    *Kraggon stood up*

    *Kraggon took a drink*

    Glinka: "5 drinks."

    Kraggon:(to Cleric) "I'm ahead!"

    *Kraggon fell down*

    Kraggon: "I'm down!" Cleric:(to Kraggon) "No you'we not." Syntrik:(to Kraggon) "Looks like the lobster dance in a few more drinks." Kraggon: "Faw down." Cleric:(to Kraggon) "We'we tied."

    *Kraggon took a drink*

    *Kraggon coughed*

    *Glinka howled*

    *Cleric stood up*

    *Anyah chuckled at Syntrik*

    *Cleric took a drink*

    *Cleric fell down*

    *Kraggon vomited*

    Glinka: "6."

    *Anyah wrinkled her nose*

    Glinka: "And a spew." Kraggon: "I'm awake!" *Syntrik did a psi power on Kraggon* *Kraggon took a drink*

    *Syntrik leaned on Kraggon*

    Syntrik:(to Kraggon) "Feel better."

    Glinka: "7."

    Kraggon:(to Syntrik) "Hey, that'th cheatin!"

    *Syntrik did a psi power on Kraggon*

    Glinka: "Glower."

    *Solinus muttered*

    *Cleric burped*

    *Kraggon hiccuped*

    Cleric:(to Kraggon) "Dwink again."

    *Cleric took a drink*

    *Cleric coughed*

    *Kraggon took a drink*

    Glinka: "He's gettin glowed."

    *Kraggon sat up*

    Cleric:(to Glinka) "It doethn't mattew."

    Syntrik:(to Glinka) "What's wrong with esp?"

    *Solinus frowned a bit*

    Glinka: "8."

    *Kraggon vomited and passed out*

    *Cleric and Glinka howled*

    Cleric: "I win!"

    *Kraggon snored loudly*

    *Glinka danced with Cleric*

    *Cleric kneeled briefly, healing Kraggon*

    *Cleric beamed at Glinka*

    Cleric:(to Glinka) "Towt you."

    *Glinka howled*

    *Kraggon snored loudly*

    Cleric:(to Glinka) "Don't take hith pantth."

    *Cleric belched*

    *Kraggon snored loudly*

    *Glinka removed Kraggon's dark wool pans and Cleric picked them up*

    Anyah: "Bested by..."

    *Glinka howled*

    *Cleric flailed her arms about wildly at Glinka*

    *Anyah glanced away quickly*

    *Glinka cackled*

    *Kraggon snored loudly*

    Cleric:(to Glinka) "Wetth dwag him to the tempwe ant make him thobew."

    Anyah:(to Glinka) "Nooo!"

    *Cleric vomited and passed out*

    Anyah: "Someone cover him up!"

    *Anyah blinked her eyes shut*

    *Glinka stole Kraggon’s pants from Cleric*

    *Solinus wrinkled his nose*

    *Cleric woke up*

    *Solinus gazed upward*

    *Cleric picked up Kraggon's pants*

    *Cleric stood up and dragged Kraggon away*

    *Solinus coughed*

    Sexed up Secians

    Binx the male Secian is an incorigible flirt. Even after going with Kiki, he continued his exploits. Meanwhile, Alwin the male Secian known to be very ... hungry. It's rumored he tried to convince Layana into a cottage to play pattycake, but was turned down. Alwin was also seen as a judge at the modeling contest drooling, and at one point removed his towel, against the protests of Head Judge Kraggon.

    Only slightly related, it's said the obsessed dragon Mikasi doesn't want to allow his bondmate's husband Equality near Clara. Is this called a triangle or something else?

    Marriage Plague Continues

    The rash of fake marriages continues with no sign of abating. Beware or you could be next! Methoss forced a marriage on Tahj the Psycian Setite and Cleric the Leuian. Cleric got so upset over it that she tried to kill Tahj repeatedly, but she failed and he kept contacting her with psi powers, calling her “Love”, furthering her anger. Later in TSC, Cleric was claiming that she actually killed Tahj, which never happened, as he was killed by Mental, not her. Also, the next day Tahj was asking Tchori if he was going to congratulate him and Tchori responded, “No, I never really liked her.”

    Also, to show his devotion to her, the Skullz chieftain Grimn got Xaphania’s name tattooed on his butt in pink letters. He then took his love further, convincing the barrister Sidney to create a fake marriage certificate with their names on it. Xaphania is in hiding, perhaps fearing a sword-point ceremony next.

    Runwaway Bard

    The famous bard Talivar has been missing for many months. Some say that his wife Torrana wanted a baby, so he fled! Others rumors claim that a Wyvern ate him. Contact Torrana if you find anything out about his location.

    Trouble in Paradise?

    For many years the rowdy Sanene tavern owner Nibiru and the Sanene supermodel Changeman have been a close pair, but is their relationship finally on the rocks? No one has seen Nibiru in the region in quite some time. Meanwhile, Changeman has been seen all over the city with various beautiful females, including models. According to one Setite, Changeman and the Sanene clothing fanatic Xaphania are like husband and wife. Xaphania is even living in his home.

    Temple Leadership Changes

    Treyfalgar stepped down as Inquisitor of Taath and the Sanene Umiak claimed the title. There was some fighting among the clerics of that temple and it's still not known if Umiak's position as Inquisitor is stable. By the way ladies, Umiak is still single if you like your men dangerous. In temple Sa, the Hithual Noffbrau, dear friend of this publication, was chosen as Regent. Congratulations from the staff to these new leaders.

    Heroic Drake Lord Saves Kitten

    Some dastardly villain tried to drown a kitten in the TSC fountain, but fortunately the drake Lord Kalessin was on the scene. He reacted quickly to desparate mewlings heard from the fountain, pulling out the small bag that contained a squirming, fuzzy kitten inside. Equality named the kitten Snowflake due to the first snows of the season that were falling as the kitten was saved. The criminal behind this atrocity remains at large.

    Hotel Teef

    Burglars broke into the well known lech Teef’s house recently, but ran away in mortal terror. Under the kitchen they found a hidden torture chamber. In the middle of it was a bed with satin sheets and a drain around it to collect blood. No word on how stained the satin sheets were or what was staining them.

    The Flamingo Bandit

    A jokester of truly sick morals has Spur under attack. Fake, pink flamingos are appearing all over. At one point, the villian dared leave a flamingo at the altar of the dreaded god Taath. The identity of the bird obsessed bandit is unknown.

    Thugian Merchants

    With all the commerce in the air, the Thugian lovebirds Dror and Skylar have decided to get in on the action, in their own strange ways. Dror has in the past been known for providing backpacks to a large number of citizens, free of charge. Recently, his usually large stock of backpacks ran out and he became so concerned that he began killing people and taking theirs, to replenish his supply. Meanwhile, his girl Skylar has taken to claiming people conned her on large purposes, threatening their lives if they don’t give her money.

    Proud Parents

    Recently, a young Go-blin-al ran into TSC and called Treyfalgar the Sanene “Daddy!”. Then he proceeded to call Leroy the Gob-lin-al “Mommy!”. Treyfalgar tried to convince people that Aradeia was one of the parents, but no one believed it.

    :: TOP ::

    Modeling Contest

    *Here is a sketch of a male Sanene of average height, with a gymnast's toned body. He has a clever, dancing eyes and a smug smile. He is dressed simply in black and is posing at the end of a long, narrow stage, glancing coyly at the crowd over the top of his dark tinted glass spectacles*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: World famous supermodel Changeman Shadowlurk demonstrates how to walk the catwalk*

    *Here is a sketch of a stunningly beautiful Sanene woman with long, dusky limbs, precise posture, a mysterious smile on her lips, and hair falling in soft waves to her defined collar bones. She is dressed in a short clinging black silk dress and black high strapped stilleto heels and her legs are oiled. She is sitting on the edge of the stage and has her legs crossed as she sings. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares openmouthed*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: The incredibly beautiful Sanene model Avzia wows the crowd with her statuesque body and lovely singing voice*

    *Here is a sketch of a female Fir Elf with a young, perky body and very long legs. She has large, pitch black eyes and long, straight platinum hair. She is hopping and waving at the end of the catwalk, her long, pointed ears wiggling, showing her body to good advantage. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares openmouthed*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Alita the gorgeous Fir Elf stuns Kraggon the head judge with her enthusiasm*

    *Here is a sketch of a lovely Sanene female dressed only in a towel and bending to pick up a duck toy off the stage. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares openmouthed*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: The sultry Sanene model Dominika "accidentally" drops her duck on stage and is forced to pick it up*

    *Here is a sketch of a tall, lovely Human woman with medium length glossy black hair with red highights and almond shaped bluish gray eyes, lined with smoky kohl. She is in the act of taking of a black mink indigo silk lined cloak, revealing that she is wearing underneath a red runesilk low-cut bikini and a red runesilk front-tied bikini top. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares openmouthed*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: The pretty bardess Anyah shows off both her bikini and her skill at crowd pleasing, removing her cloak in a dramatic flourish*

    *Here is a sketch of a female Secian with a fit, wiry body, pale red eyes, and long, straight glossy black hair with fiery highlights. She is wearing a ruffled cotton chemise off one shoulder and has elaborate tatooes on her wings and ankle, including one depicting a squirrel named "Twig". She is clawing the air like a cat on stage and her eyes glow with a myterious power. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares open-mouthed*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: The lovely Secian model Kavita struts her stuff, showing a fiery, inner nature with her catty pose*

    *Here is a sketch of a breathtakingly gorgeous Human woman. She is petite and has a dancer's lithe body. She has long, curly sable hair, dark green eyes, and a warm olive complexion. She is wearing a side-laced black silk thong and twisted black silk sash over her bust. She is pressing her arms together, showing off her exquisite body to the audience. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares openmouthed*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Aisha the Human model, clearly a skilled dancer, shocks the crowd with her revealing costume and turns most of the males present into slobbering idiots*

    *Here is a sketch of a muscular Usil woman, tall and pretty. She has long, wavy auburn hair and bluish gray eyes of piercing intelligence. She is dressed in a dark blue bikini with a dark blue halter-tie bikini top. She is posing, one hand gesturing suggestively, the other hand resting lightly on her hip. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares openmouthed*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: The Usil merchant Maren proves that book smarts can also be used to drive men insane, with the help of the right outfit*

    *Here is a sketch of a muscular Usil woman, tall and pretty. She has long, wavy auburn hair and bluish gray eyes of piercing intelligence. She is dressed in a dark blue bikini with a dark blue halter-tie bikini top. She is posing, one hand gesturing suggestively, the other hand resting lightly on her hip. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares openmouthed*

    Contest preparations were made, judges were found, and the host Changeman helped models find appropriate garb. The Arachnian Silkyn offered to eat those contestants that tripped on stage, but her offer was politely declined. Anyah commented that all the men had just come to watch bikinis. Noffbrau confirmed that suspicion, by insisting that the bikinis be mentioned in the contest announcements being sent out by psions. Changeman suggested the models might get into bikinis if Noffbrau did. Kraggon said he thought it was the judges who were going to be wearing the bikinis. Anyah and Maren seemed dismayed at the idea of the judges in bikinis.

    Several prominent merchants were in the crowd. Syntrik the Psycian stopped in, and generously donated his psionic talents to give announcements. Ward the Leuian, head of Emjedah's Merchant's Guild, was early to the event, offering to guard models as they changed. Rurik the Human also attended, claiming he was doing professional research.

    Clothing taken care of, Changeman chose judges from the crowd, representing various viewpoints. Chosen to judge were Tara, Cieran, Alwin, and Treyfalgar. Kraggon aka “Kraggles” was chosen as head judge to collect votes and keep things honest.

    Finally, Changeman was able to begin explaining the rules.

    Picture and Interview With Alita the Model

    ...The caption below the sketch reads: Alita the Fir Elf model...

    Here is a sketch of a young Fir elf woman with long, straight platinum blond hair and large, pitch black eyes. She is dressed in a white silk blouse, apitch black spidersilk skirt, and a flowing white cloak. Her body is fit and wiry and she has very long legs, showed off to good effect by her short skirt. Over her shoulder with one hand she holds a steel scorpion polearm. She smiles the carefree smile of the young and innocent*

    ~*~*~*~

     

    Ace: "Were you surprised by your win at the recent modeling contest?"

    *Alita held the softly glimmering moonflower close and smelled it idly*

    Alita: "Not at all! I knew I could do it with a good enough performance."

    *Alita smiled at Ace*

    Ace: "Are you a professional model? Trained with anyone?"

    Alita: "Although some of the other models were quite talented as well, and deserved to win just as much as me."

    *Ace nodded*

    Alita: "I'm a fighter and have trained for all types of different situations. Some of the fighter stances look a lot like poses."

    *Alita smiled cutely*

    *Ace grinned*

    Alita: "I think that's where I learned lots of them."

    Ace: "Quite good for conditioning too."

    Ace: "So you are a warrior? Were did you learn the art of war?"

    Alita: "A fighter, and my mama taught me a lot about fighting. She also made sure I practiced every day or she would punish me!"

    Ace: "Was she a fighter? How did she punish you?"

    Alita: "She never faught after having me but said she used to. She takes a ruler and spanked it on my bare bottom! Whack whack WHACK!"

    Ace: "I'm sure it made you try harder to succeed in the end though."

    Alita says, "Oh yes, if she ever found out I disobeyed her even to this day she'd probably come find me and punish me."

    Ace: "What was the fighter that trained you? Did the fighter use spankings?"

    Alita: "No just my mama. There was a Fir friend of mine who helped by holding the punching bag and stuff."

    *Alita giggled*

    Ace: "What are your future plans?"

    Alita: "Well I hope to work for the modeling agency and help merchants sell there things, but most importantly I want to be a really strong fighter to make mama proud!"

    Ace: "Why did you choose to follow Taath?"

    Alita: "Mama always did so that's how she raised me, and I hafta do what mama says ."

    Ace: "Now I'm required to ask...."

    Ace: "Do you have a signifigant other?" Alita: "She told me that I was one day going to be a strong fighter and some other things about Taath...." *Alita giggled to Ace* Alita: "Well I think theres lots of guys trying, but I'm still single!" Ace: "Who has tried recently to hit on you?" Alita: "Just some friends of mine." *Alita winked at Ace* Ace: "What friends?" *Ace grinned* *Alita glared at Ace* Ace: "I don't mean to offend. I'm just bound by paper rules." Alita: "I'm not sure I'd be comfortable revealing their names without askin them first." Ace: "Well please ask them." Alita: "Plus, a girl has to have some secrets." *Ace grinned* Ace: "Well I thank you for giving us a look into your life. And congratulations on your big win." Ace: "Any final words to Spur?" Alita: "Thank you, and yes if you are a merchant I'm available to hire for modeling. Also to the Sans out there you should learn to be nicer and not so Stupid! Not all of you are but there are a lot of you who really really are." *Ace snickered* *Alita giggled* Ace: "Thank you." Alita: "Well it's true" *Alita stuck her tongue out*

    :: TOP ::

    Top Sixes by Sarsh

    I am Sarsh, Guardian of the Top Six Lists. There will be no cheating, or you will dishonor your ancestors, and I will claw out your crown jewels. Please only vote once for each category, not six times. We then use those votes to find the top six people in six categories.

    Best Merchant

  • Ward
  • Syntrik
  • Rurik
  • Broomhilda
  • Tir
  • Starlyn

    Ward and Syntrik vied for this category. They are all more interested in gold than honor in my opinion.

    Best Hairstyle

  • Aisha
  • Tahj
  • Leroy
  • Xaphania
  • Vixen
  • Kraggon

    Aisha's dark curls and Tahj's wild hair were both popular in this category.

    Closest Secian/Dragon bondmates

  • Clara and Mikosi
  • Lilioth and Losmir
  • Vosk the golde and Zofi
  • Kiki and Skar
  • Draffut and Kavita
  • Nyoko and Equality

    Clara and Mikosi dominated this category. This dragon is truly obsessed with his bondmate.

    Best Dressed

  • Xaphania
  • Aisha
  • Syntrik
  • Maren
  • Anyah
  • Lanedor

    The odd Sanene Xaphania won this category. She is known for forcing shoes on novices.

    Best Smile

  • Anyah
  • Rekgar
  • Aisha
  • Glinka
  • Tahj
  • Xaphania

    Anyah of the dimples was popular in this category.

    Most Powerful

  • Syntrik
  • Slade
  • Merlin
  • Draffut
  • Ward
  • Spite

    Master psion, master merchant, and rumored to be close with Governor Merlin, Syntrik easily won this category.

    :: TOP ::

    Changeman's Vault

    Dumb: "HAY! Effuhbudduh Shaddup! Xapapapah, hats da plintlets in huh eyelets!" -Dumb the Oog-ra

    ******

    Kraggon:(to Xaphania) "That howlin' might have been a wyvern."

    Dathis:(to Kraggon) "Umm Im guessing...any other large city with a police force?"

    Kraggon:(to Dathis) "They don't in Rathan. Thar army be hidden out of the city."

    Xaphania:(to Kraggon) "I thought the wyverns had been dealt with."

    Gwena: "There's wyverns in Rathan now?"

    -Kraggon the Hithual contest judge, Xaphania the Sanene clothing fanatic, Gwena the Leuian, and Dathis.

    ******

    Aisha:(to Changeman) "What are you getting out of it?"

    Changeman: "I'm doing it for two reasons."

    Changeman: "One I have alot of merchant friends who expressed a need."

    Changeman: "Two, my teacher was Koni, a model for the famous merchant Rehas. She is now dead."

    Alita: "Is this safe?"

    Changeman: "Is what safe?"

    Alita: "Well you said Koni was a model and she died..."

    Changeman: "She didn't die of modeling."

    *Changeman laughed and appeared very sad* Changeman: "She perished in the great plague. That hit Spur about five years ago." -Changeman the Sanene supermodel, Aisha the Human model, and Alita the Fir Elf model.

    *****

    Alwin:(to Tara) "I'm too sexy for a shirt you know." -Alwin the Secian.

    *****

    Aisha:(to Cieran) "Excellent. Now I have all my men here."

    Maren:(to Aisha) "You have a harem?"

    *Maren whistled at Aisha*

    Aisha:(to Maren) "Doesn't every woman?"

    *Aisha raised an eyebrow at Maren*

    Anyah: "No."

    Maren:(to Aisha) "I only have one so far."

    Camelia: "Ooh - I want one!"

    Aisha:(to Anyah) "Unfortunate."

    Bethany: "I want one, too."

    *Bethany raised her hand*

    Aisha: "Every girl should have one."

    -Aisha the Human model, Maren the Usil merchant, Camelia the Human, and Bethany the Psycian cleric.

    *****

    *Jade kicked at Skar, striking him in the left leg and it was surrounded by sparks of magick*

    Jade: "My mommy said I need to wear my magick protection when I fight with the girls!"

    *Skar laughed*

    -Skar the Monitanian and Jade the San Elf fire mage

    *****

    Grunt: "Jate?"

    Slade: "Jade? She wants to burn everything."

    *Shifty laughed wildly*

    *Bethany chuckled*

    Grunt: "And her brothuh Terby?"

    Slade: "I don't think she has brothers."

    Grunt: "Is tru doh, dis time."

    Grunt:(to Slade) "Hers does now?"

    *Grunt fidgeted and gestured east*

    Grunt: "Ax hers."

    Slade: "If that's what she calls it."

    Grunt: "But dat tent wuddint lockt buhfor."

    *Grunt shaked his head from side to side*
    -Slade the Psycian and Grunt the Go-blin-al street cleaner

    ****

    Scruple: "Anyone know where I can get some prune juice?"
    -Scruple the Drag-al water mage

    *****

    Callik:(to Varnfair) "I am an elf, you Spurian whelp."
    -Callik the Fir Elf freedom fighter and Varnfair the Fir Elf

    ******

    Thurrg: "Ahs nut walk wif taaf."

    Thurrg: "Ahs skip wif taaf!"
    -Thurrg the Thugian

    ******

    Rocko: "STAND AND DELIVER your money or your wives !"
    -Rocko

    *******

    Sirus:(shouting at a street harlot)"Yes, I would like to sleep with you for money."

    Tir:(yelling) "There's San who'll do it for free!"
    -Sirus the Frontacian and Tir the Go-blin-al merchant

    ******

    Augatil:(to Phannah) "I killed your first husband for you so you can say he really is dead now."

    Phannah:(to Augatil) "That's nice, did you enjoy yourself?"
    -Augatil the Leuian and Phannah the Human lady of Spur

    ******

    Ward:(to Linus) "Did you read a book about dragons and decide you wanted to be one when you grew up?"
    -Ward the Leuian merchant

    ******

    Anyah: "Well, she is nude... you know how men are.. when one head doesn't work.. the other does."

    Cyraenthalis:(to Linus) "Men have two heads?"
    -Anyah the Human bard and Cyraenthalis

    ******

    Cleric:(to Augatil) "Quit staring at his big pike."
    -Cleric the Leuian

    ******

    Maren:(to Luna) "Careful, he might slice you by accident."

    Maren: "Then we would have chicken."
    -Maren the Usil merchant

    *****

    Naomi: "You didn't see him touching his rune?”

    Teef: "Not that rune."
    -Naomi and Teef the Human Archmage of Shadow

    *****

    Kagee:( to Tinuz) "Treyflager lost his drawers, it was scary."

    Kagee: "It was like a cart accident, how could you look away?"

    *Tinuz raised an eyebrow at Kagee*

    Anyah:(to Kagee) "You calling him small? Really I didn't think it was all that small but.. to each their own."

    Kagee: "I’m saying in comparison."

    Anyah:(to Kagee) "Well, he could always drop them if you want me to make a comparison."

    *Anyah shrugged*

    Tinuz:(to Kagee) "Suh let me git diz right joo huzbent iz tiny in comparison?"
    -Kagee the Sanene cleric, Anyah the Human bardess, and Tinuz

    ******

    Lii: “Melraath is teaching me how to be a gangster.”

    Anyah: “As if you didn’t know how to be one already.”

    Lii: “Let me rephrase that.”

    Lii: “Melraath is teaching me how to be a playboy.”
    -Lii the Human hand cleric and Anyah the Human bardess

    ******

    Davide:(to Syai) "I will help you get revenge on Marius if you help me with Melraath."

    Syai: "Yes."

    *Syai nodded*

    Syai: "That could work."
    -Syai the Dragon and Davide

    *******

    Jade: "Is Phannah dead?"

    Tara:(to Jade) "Might as well be, she lies vertically(sic) often enough."
    -Jade the Sanene and Tara the Human

    ******

    Xaphania says in Sanene, "I am a Flerian."
    -Xaphania the Sanene clothing fanatic

    ****

    Cleric: "Mental Oh do me!"
    -Cleric the Leuian and Mental the Psycian

    *****

    Anyah: "You aren't looking for models to model in your paper are you? I've seen some of those pictures.."

    Ace: "No no."

    Ace: “I can promise no nudity will be allowed or asked for. My paper work is separate."

    *Anyah nodded to Ace*

    Ace: "I draw naked celebrities who have drawn news interest."

    *Anyah murmured almost inaudibly "oh boy.." and chuckled*
    -Anyah the Human bardess and reporter Ace Wildcard

    :: TOP ::

    Naked Celebrity Pictures

    * A scowling, gorgeous Sanene female launches a stream of acid at a dimpled female Human. The Sanene sorceress seems unconcerned with her own nudity. The acid has begun to eat away at the Human's clothing in the picture, but nothing is quite revealed. In the background of the sketch, an elderly Hithual stares openmouthed*

    * The caption below the sketch reads: Sindelle attempts to get revenge on Anyah the bard*

    * Here is a sketch of a tall, blonde Human male. He has forest green eyes and a serious demeanor. He is walking down merchant way, wearing nothing but boots and a guard helmet. Several females turn to watch*

    *The caption below the sketch reads: Solinus the Odarian patrols the Spur*

    * Here is a sketch of a male Go-blin-al proudly displaying his bare buttocks to tsc, showing off a pink tattoo that reads "Xaphania"*

    * The caption below the sketch reads: The Skullz chieftain Grimn shows off his marriage tatooe*

    Thanks for reading. If you would like to advertise with us, contact us at SpurianSlanderer@hotmail.com.

    :: TOP ::